The shadow of your pain…


The storms passed us by although we did have plenty of rain on our not-quite-completed roof. We were to have dinner with friends Tuesday night but she had a migraine. The pressure, I asked. Yes. She’s as sensitive to the weather as I am. She had three migraines this week. The ms HUG has been hanging around like a gang of bad boys. I tried gaba but it’s Klonopin that helps but at the same time sedates me. This is familiar territory. I have no objective measures with which to compare (did I last longer before the pressure got me this time? is it less intense? will it go away faster?) I don’t know the answers to these questions at the moment. What I’m getting at is: can I notice a difference since taking the high d? Nothing to take to the bank in this department.

When the HUG grabbed me in NJ, I remember telling my chiropractor that it felt like the shadow of pain. I can’t rub it or push on it or locate it exactly. It’s kept deep in the muscles between my ribs. Or it’s my skin, itself. My left side (link to gall bladder meridian below) feels like a pipe through which hot water has recently passed. The points on my persoal diagram are my temple and over the top of my head into my neck, the back of my shoulder, the outer edge of my bottom rib, hip, knee, ankle, toe.  Sounds like an impossible game of Twister!

I emailed doc a picture of the psoriasis on my feet. He said it didn’t look like psoriasis to him and recommended a dermo. Hmm. My problem has been getting better because I rub my feet  with magnesium oil every night. I think whatever it is, is from the vitamin d. When I first told doc about it, he said high vitamin d gets rid of psoriasis.

Have you ever noticed in the list of side effects there are often opposites? Gain weight/lose weight. Fatigue/trouble sleeping. Etc. I’m not a good ‘clinical’ patient. I don’t want to pay $50 to see the dermo if I can take care of it myself. I don’t need a diagnosis. Looks a lot like the psoriasis on my father’s elbows and scalp.  So we won’t know (unless it gets worse). I’ll keep it in mind. I should have had them sign a disclaimer to work with me! I failed obedience school(s).

Yesterday, I went to 8 am Mass, DD, and Bible study. I was tired. Last week I did the same routine and was exhausted and couldn’t imagine ever having the energy to do it again. Ever! There’s an improvement of note. Same activities, one week apart. I have more stamina. The gym entered my mind before the storm knocked it out. Nick and I walked to the mailbox yesterday. My legs/hips hurt (again, probably storm) and I slowed down as I used to. Not on purpose. Legs just won’t move any faster. Hard to understand, even for me. Fatigue?

I’m still getting down the 3L/fluid/day. It’s easier to accomplish when I am home. But when I show up at Mass at 8, I’ve already had almost 1-1/2 L of water. Never pass a bathroom by! For me it’s best if I have less than a liter to go by early afternoon. That way, if I take a long nap, I won’t have so much to make up upon awakening. Only once have I had to stay up to finish the water. Once was enough.

My spark of life is stronger, brighter. Glad to put my energy into the bible study: Discovering Our Dignity. Walking with Purpose.

Klonopin knocked me out and the pain in my rib contributed. I was asleep by 8 last night. Awake since 2. I hope, as the storms get further away, that I feel better and can enjoy my new life.

This post was written by , posted on September 2, 2016 Friday at 3:54 am

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